✨ Unlearning the “Quick Fix” Mentality
I recently read a quote that said:
“Sometimes growth isn’t about becoming more, it’s about unlearning all the things that made you feel less.”
That one hit me hard.
It made me wonder (you know… thanks to Curiosity 😉) — how much of personal growth is actually about letting go rather than adding more?
Because if I’m honest, my go-to is always to add first. Add a plan. Add a rule. Add a routine. Add pressure.
And underneath it all? The toxic expectation that whatever I choose to change will bring about the most immediate and sustainable transformation ever.
In other words… a quick fix.
Do this one thing, and the weight will literally fall off.
Change this one behavior, and your focus will be elite.
Buy this one program, and your life will be optimized by Tuesday.
Ah, yes… the way of the infomercial. 📺
🚨 The 5AM Identity Crisis
All of this was brought to my attention during my most recent attempt at reinvention.
Here’s the story:
I wish I was a morning person…
Not just someone who wakes up early occasionally. I mean a real morning person. The kind who hops out of bed on the first alarm and doesn’t hit snooze. The kind who has more done before 7AM than most people accomplish in a day. The kind with a CEO mindset and unlimited ambition.
You know the one.
So, it’s Sunday night, and I set the 5AM alarm — strategically placed across the bedroom so I’d have to physically get out of bed to turn it off.
I had just fallen down the rabbit hole of “miracle morning routine” content for the third time that day. You know the ones – Perfectly filtered photos of someone in athleisure holding a steaming mug, their hair somehow perfectly styled at 5:17AM. Captions like:
“I used to be a mess, then I started waking up early and now I’m a CEO/yogi/bestselling author who also bakes sourdough.”
Sure, Jennifer. Sure.
But there I was. Buying into it. Again.
This time would be different, I told myself. I would actually BE the person who pops out of bed before dawn, ready to crush the day.
I had the whole plan mapped out:
- Journal while drinking my expensive “new me” fantasy-coffee
- 20-minute meditation
- Workout
- Meal prep
- Probably solve world hunger before sunrise
I was going to be transformed.
⏰ Monday, 5:00AM
First alarm: I genuinely consider throwing my phone out the window. I get up and hit snooze with the kind of aggression reserved for people who chew loudly.
Second alarm: Negotiation begins – “Maybe 5:15 is better for my circadian rhythm.” Snooze again.
Third alarm: The phone is now next to me – I won’t be getting out of bed for this again. Strategy has collapsed.
Fourth alarm: Deep resentment toward Past Me for even thinking that Present Me would be capable of this nonsense.
Fifth alarm: I am fully in the bargaining phase. “Maybe rest is the real self-care. Maybe honoring my natural sleep cycle is the glow-up.”
(Translation: I’m going back to sleep and will try again tomorrow. Spoiler alert – I won’t.)
Sixth alarm: I’ve decided the whole 5AM thing is actually toxic hustle culture and I am basically a revolutionary for rejecting it.
🎭 The Part I Didn’t Want to Admit
Here’s the truth I wasn’t ready to say out loud:
I didn’t actually want to wake up at 5AM.
I wanted to be the kind of person who wakes up at 5AM.
Completely different.
I wanted the Instagram version of my life.
I wanted to feel like I had my shit together.
I wanted to silence the voice that said I wasn’t doing enough. Being enough. Optimizing enough.
I was trying to quick-fix my way into becoming someone I thought I should be…
Instead of asking the much scarier question:
Who am I actually? And what do I need?
The transformation didn’t come from finding the perfect alarm strategy.
It came from letting go of someone else’s definition of success.
I needed to unlearn an outdated belief that my worth was somehow tied to how early I could drag my unwilling body out of bed, the outdated belief that there is a “right” way to be productive, and the shame I felt every single time I didn’t follow through.
🧠 Why Quick Fixes Feel So Good (At First)
The dopamine hit of instant results is real. Our brains are literally wired to seek immediate rewards. We live in a world of:
- same-day delivery
- instant streaming
- algorithms that predict what we want before we finish typing
So, of course, we expect personal growth to work the same way.
Add to that the comparison trap — highlight reels, after photos, promotion posts — and suddenly it feels like there’s a shortcut we’re missing.
There must be a hack.
There must be a better plan.
There must be something wrong with me.
So I started a list titled:
“Things I Need to Unlearn.”
And you know what? There’s something incredibly freeing about admitting you’ve been chasing someone else’s ideal instead of figuring out your own.
🔥 Interrupting the Urgency
Maybe the real work isn’t finding a better strategy.
Maybe it’s interrupting the urgency.
Because quick-fix energy has a very specific flavor. It feels exciting. Slightly frantic. A little self-righteous. It whispers:
“If you just get this right, everything else will fall into place.”
And for a moment? That belief feels powerful.
But if I’m honest…
That urgency usually isn’t alignment.
It’s insecurity in a productivity costume.
So now, when I feel that surge — the “new plan, new rules, new me starting Monday” energy — I pause.
I ask myself:
- What am I actually feeling right now?
- What am I trying to outrun?
- Who told me this is the version of me I should want to become?
(Never underestimate the power of asking, “Says who?” 👀)
Because quick fixes thrive on urgency.
Self-trust grows in curiosity.
🪞What I’m Actually Practicing
Not becoming more optimized.
Becoming more honest.
Honest about my rhythms.
Honest about my capacity.
Honest about where comparison quietly hijacks my decisions.
There’s something deeply freeing about realizing I don’t actually want the 5AM life — I just want the feeling I think it represents.
That shift changes everything.
📚 A Note on Unlearning
If you’ve read UnLearn, you know the theme:
So much of what we call “self-improvement” is inherited conditioning.
Rules we absorbed.
Ideals we never consciously chose.
Scripts we’re still performing.
Unlearning is slower. Less glamorous. There’s no dramatic before-and-after photo.
But it builds something quick fixes never can:
Self-trust. Sustainable change. Alignment.
(If you haven’t read it yet, I highly recommend it. It’s very on-brand with this entire conversation.)
🌿 The Challenge
The next time you feel the urge to overhaul your life in one dramatic sweep…
Don’t add something.
Subtract something instead.
Subtract the comparison.
Subtract the shame.
Subtract the belief that you’re behind.
Then sit with what’s left.
Maybe growth isn’t about becoming more disciplined, more optimized, more impressive.
Maybe it’s about becoming more you.
And maybe — just maybe — the real glow-up isn’t waking up at 5AM.
It’s waking up to yourself.
Whatever time that may be. 💛
Lots to Unlearn here!